Negative thoughts that produce anger, jealousy, resentment, disdain or scorn are physically and mentally unhealthy. They are too burdensome for the champion. The successful person swiftly says, “I am sorry.” “Forgive me.” “I forgive you.” “Let us work this out.”
Negative thoughts over time will take their toll. They slow you down. They attract what you do not want. They distract you. They keep you tethered to the very thing that upset you. You become the victim. You become the prisoner of the past, draining hope and positivity. These thoughts can eventually manifest themselves into a negative reality.
I had a severe disagreement myself with my father. He wanted me to pursue higher studies but instead, I chose to join the banking industry at a relatively young age of 19. This hot and cold war went on for about 20 years. We had been at odds with literally no communication between us. There was anger. There was resentment. The result – conflicts within the family members, financial crisis and most importantly, acute health crisis for almost all of us in the family.
Then one of my good friends convinced me to make peace with my father. Finally with his encouragement, I approached my father and we bonded. We straightened out our differences. A year later, my father died. There were no regrets. I had found peace and understanding. This in fact laid a solid foundation to my new career in Direct Selling.
We all have people challenges and even conflicts. We all have disappointments with the ones we like and especially love. Let go of the story. It is the story that fuels our emotional unrest. Once the story is eliminated from your mind, nothing can power the negative feelings. Move forward. Let go of the past.
Most of us have been hurt by the actions or words of another. Perhaps your mother criticized your choice of a significant other. Maybe your business associate undermined your potential promotion. Possibly you divorced over an affair. These wounds can penetrate your soul. They can overrun your mind like weeds in a garden. They can produce feelings of revenge, hatred, bitterness and anger. Forgiveness, however, can set you free. By embracing forgiveness, you can also embrace the feelings of peace and hope.
Forgiveness is the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.
With forgiveness you make a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. It took me and my father a lifetime to release the story of the past that fueled our negative emotions. The act that hurt or offended us was a part of our life. After forgiveness entered our psyche, negativity lessened the grip on us. It helped us move forward. Forgiveness even led to our feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for each other, the ones we believed had hurt us.
Know that forgiveness does not minimize or justify the wrong. You can forgive the person without excusing the act. Forgiving, however, can make way for peace. It can lead to lower blood pressure, reduction of stress, increased new healthy relationships, decreased symptoms of depression and lowered risk of alcohol and drug abuse.
Forgiveness is a commitment to a process of change.
Decide now to:
Forgive swiftly – do not allow lingering negativity;
Forgive often – make this a habit;
Seek forgiveness, although it may never arrive;
Move forward with hope and positivity;
Learn from the past, then bury it and do not dig it up again;
Learn to say, “I am sorry” “Forgive me,” “I forgive you,” and mean it;
Be honest with yourself and others;
Monitor your thoughts for feelings of being a victim or judge;
Replace all negative images, words and deeds with a positive, future vision;
Live in the moment (Attend my Workshop “Secrets to Peak Performance – Think like a Champion”).
How powerful is forgiveness? It releases the negative past and opens a revitalized energy source that can pave an amazing future of simplicity and balance.
Make amends. Bury the hatchet. Make peace. Pick up the phone. Look them in the eye. Control the situation or circumstance by making the first move. Empty the anger from your heart. Sever the tethered thoughts that keep you connected to the negative transgression or offense. Move forward.